3rd Gotcha Day Anniversary-Looking Back

Three years ago today, my life changed forever. We awoke about 3am, after going to bed about midnight. The anxiety was just too much to allow us to sleep. We turned on the light and began checking out our room (didn't look around too much since we checked in so late). We turned on the tv and watched Chinese music videos, which turned out to be very amusing. We also kept looking out the window at the view of Changsha. The fog had lifted somewhat and we were able to take a better look at our surroundings. It was not as "old world" as we had initially thought when we came in. We watched a few motorcycles and taxis make their way down the empty streets. We kept looking at the crib sitting next to the bed with total disbelief. Soon it would be occupied by our new daughter. Even repeating this to ourselves could not break through to complete reality. Could this REALLY be happening? Are we really about to have the daughter that we longed for all these years? Even though we repeatedly walked over and touched the crib and neatened the blanket inside, it was still hard to believe.

We didn't have to meet up with the group to fill out paperwork until 6:30 and couldn't even go down for breakfast until 6. We took turns taking showers, and continued to stare out the window and at the crib. At 6, we headed downstairs for breakfast. Although our nerves and stomachs were in a knot, we were starving. The buffet was amazing, although there were some strange stuff on it. I quickly found my favorite breakfast item...fried noodles. (They had them every morning and I was loving it!!)

After breakfast, we met up and filled out our initial adoption paperwork. We would be given our daughter, but her adoption would not be officially completed until the following day so we had some "guardianship" paperwork to fill out. Then, our guide showed us how to make a "Chinese Bottle". Our daughter took barley cereal in her bottle, so we were shown how to cut the nipple and how much cereal to put in it. We were also warned that she took her bottle extremely HOT, almost scalding. We would NEVER had considered giving a baby a bottle of this temperature, but apparently this is how it was done.

Then we loaded on the bus and were off! The bus ride was quiet. We all were concentrating on just breathing. We were informed that the power was out at the Civil Affairs office so it was likely to be hot and stuffy (they forgot to warn us it would be over-crowded too). We arrived at the complex and got off the bus just as a group of nannies were bringing babies into the office. That's when all the pandemonium started. We all started searching their faces to see if they were OUR babies. We were informed they were NOT our babies and to hurry inside and up the stairs. We filed upstairs along side of these nannies and babies, all the while the nannies were trying to get the babies to coo at us or smile. It was torture! Once upstairs, we were led right past the waiting area to a large (and hot) conference room. Just minutes later, they began calling out names and lining us up on one side of the room in the order we would be receiving our babies. We were 5th. We no sooner got in line and in came the babies, one at a time. They checked credentials, then handed the babies over to their new parents (and were given a moment for a picture or two). We realized at that very moment that we had not decided who would hold her first! The only thing I could mutter out to Rob was, "Please let me...". Then, before we realized it, we were NEXT! That's when we looked up at the door and there she was! We DID recognize her! She was right there, in the flesh! We stepped up and handed them our credentials while continuing to stare at the doorway. The nanny then stepped up and handed her to me. Though there are no words that can really describe the feeling we felt at that very moment. It was surreal. It felt like all of the commotion in the room just disappeared and time stopped. We stood there, holding our beautiful new daughter, Mary. And she WAS beautiful! She was perfect. Then, time started up again and we were hurried off to the other side of the room so the next baby could be matched with their new family.

Mary didn't cry. She was very curious and just stared at us. She put her hand on our faces, perhaps trying to break through HER reality check too. She went to Rob and found his name tag and put the death grip on it. Then, as quickly as we were brought in, we were hurried back out to the bus headed for the hotel. Mary kept a grip on Rob's name tag and moments after we pulled out of the parking lot, layed her head down and fell asleep (still grasping the name tag!). The look on Rob's face at that moment was of pure happiness and I could see his eyes tearing up. Back at the hotel, we layed her on the bed and sat there watching her sleep. She was amazing. I called home to tell everyone that we had Mary, but couldn't stop gazing at her. We did it. We had a China daughter and she was beautiful and perfect.

When she awoke, Rob was gone (at the store buying baby formula and cereal). She had a little bit of a meltdown being in a strange place with a strange person, but it only lasted a few minutes. I changed her into a pretty pink outfit (and put her gotcha clothes away for safe keeping) and broke out the toys. We sat there on the floor playing. It was wonderful.

It's hard to believe three whole years have passed. It feels like last week. I can close my eyes and replay it in my mind over and over. Mary has grown SO much since then and her personality really developed. She is a strong-willed, but loving. She loves macaroni and cheese and hates anything with meat. She is fun, but stubborn. She is independent, but still loves to cuddle. She is still one amazing little girl.

Here is Mary, three years ago...


...and here is Mary now