Three blocks from the Destruction

Several people emailed/called me yesterday asking if we were okay following the string of tornados that tore through Northern Colorado yesterday. First off, thank you for your concern. I am happy and very, very grateful to say that my house and my family are all just fine. The girls (and boys for that matter) did well through it all. (My stupid dog had a total panic attack though!) Rob kept them calm and busy. The only time they got a little worried is when the power went out, but it came back on last night about 5:30. It's is truly amazing we had power restored that quickly considering the damage. Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me give a survey of what I saw last night and this morning. I am truly humbled by what I saw.

I work in Loveland, but live in Gilcrest. I had heard reports of the devastation in Gilcrest so I did not know what to expect on the way home. I had heard reports that CR 42 was closed (I live 1/2 block off CR42 in Gilcrest), so the ride home was going to be interesting. I normally take Hwy 34 home, but it was still closed due to back ups and debris on and to the side of the road. I was forced to take back roads. When I got to the intersection of HWY 402 and 257, it stops at the top of a big hill with a wide panoramic view. It was an awe inspiring sight from there. You could see a line of haze running from Gilcrest all the way up to Windsor. At that point, you couldn't see the damage, but the line of haze was incredible enough. I was sorry I didn't have my camera.

Milliken's power was still out as I passed through. There was some tree branches and some minor debris that I saw, but nothing substantial. Turning south on Hwy 60, you could start to see a line of trees that were completely bare. As I turned onto CR42, everything looked fine. The house on the corner looked like it was not damaged at all. Further down, the little farm house sustained a little damaged, but it didn't look like anything substantial. A little further down, a larger farm looked like it took a bit more damaged. It was hard to see the damage on the house, but their out-buildings looked like they had their roofs all but peeled off. There were some large branches and small trees down. Just past this house was an incredible site. Huge shreads of metal lay on either side of the road, some an big as 10 feet high or more. This was what looked like the remnants of a silo. My heart started to race. Reality was starting to appear. Then I looked up. There use to be a beautiful red brick house with beautiful landscaping standing there. The house was completly destroyed. I started to shake and cry as I stared at what was left of the house. This use to be an amazing house. It had been up for sale and had JUST been put under contract! News crews were on either side of the road. On the south side of the road was another farm house that was completely destroyed. Trees were broken on either side of the road and debris was everywhere. I came to a stop at the stop sign and saw the beautiful house to the north that sustained some pretty heavy damage, but was still in tact for the most part. There use to be a warning barrier at this intersection so cars would not end up in the water-filled ditch (this is a bendy, awkward intersection), but the barrier was twisted and mangled. I couldn't stop shaking and crying. All of this devastation was so close. It hurt to think of what my neighbors must be going through and how scary this all must have been. As I continued east on CR42, I saw ALL of the power poles on the north side of the street snapped in half like toothpicks and embedded in the dirt where they fell. As I approached my street, the damage and destruction just disappeared. I turned down my street and saw everything was just fine, although the destruction and damage started just three blocks away. I pulled into the driveway and sat there and cried. I cried for those people who just lost their homes. I cried in selfishness and gratitude that my house and my family dodged such a huge disaster. It was truly the most humbling moment in my life. I went inside and hugged my husband and my children and cried. We were so very lucky and we were thanking the stars. I wandered around my house in tears, looking at everything that COULD have been lost. I looked at all the pictures on the walls, imagining them buried and broken. You really don't think about things like this happening and what you would do if you were to lose everything in a split second. I'm thinking about that now, for sure.

This morning, most of CR42 is shut down because of the downed power poles. The utility company was already out working to remove the broken poles and get new ones up. It's amazing how they have responded to this disaster and they should definitely be commended. I had to take some back roads in order to get to work so I was able to see more of the damage that the tornado left in it's wake. I saw a couple other house all but destroyed. Fences were broken. Street/traffic signs were literally bent in half. Trees were uprooted or completely bare (with nothing left but the trunk and some branches). You could literally look northeast and see the path of the tornado.

I know Gilcrest did not sustain even CLOSE to the damage that the town of Windsor did, but it was so difficult seeing this damage so close to my home. So close to my children. Our thoughts are definitely with those people affected by these tornados yesterday, inluding my neighbors. May they find strength to get through this.

3rd Gotcha Day Anniversary-Looking Back

Three years ago today, my life changed forever. We awoke about 3am, after going to bed about midnight. The anxiety was just too much to allow us to sleep. We turned on the light and began checking out our room (didn't look around too much since we checked in so late). We turned on the tv and watched Chinese music videos, which turned out to be very amusing. We also kept looking out the window at the view of Changsha. The fog had lifted somewhat and we were able to take a better look at our surroundings. It was not as "old world" as we had initially thought when we came in. We watched a few motorcycles and taxis make their way down the empty streets. We kept looking at the crib sitting next to the bed with total disbelief. Soon it would be occupied by our new daughter. Even repeating this to ourselves could not break through to complete reality. Could this REALLY be happening? Are we really about to have the daughter that we longed for all these years? Even though we repeatedly walked over and touched the crib and neatened the blanket inside, it was still hard to believe.

We didn't have to meet up with the group to fill out paperwork until 6:30 and couldn't even go down for breakfast until 6. We took turns taking showers, and continued to stare out the window and at the crib. At 6, we headed downstairs for breakfast. Although our nerves and stomachs were in a knot, we were starving. The buffet was amazing, although there were some strange stuff on it. I quickly found my favorite breakfast item...fried noodles. (They had them every morning and I was loving it!!)

After breakfast, we met up and filled out our initial adoption paperwork. We would be given our daughter, but her adoption would not be officially completed until the following day so we had some "guardianship" paperwork to fill out. Then, our guide showed us how to make a "Chinese Bottle". Our daughter took barley cereal in her bottle, so we were shown how to cut the nipple and how much cereal to put in it. We were also warned that she took her bottle extremely HOT, almost scalding. We would NEVER had considered giving a baby a bottle of this temperature, but apparently this is how it was done.

Then we loaded on the bus and were off! The bus ride was quiet. We all were concentrating on just breathing. We were informed that the power was out at the Civil Affairs office so it was likely to be hot and stuffy (they forgot to warn us it would be over-crowded too). We arrived at the complex and got off the bus just as a group of nannies were bringing babies into the office. That's when all the pandemonium started. We all started searching their faces to see if they were OUR babies. We were informed they were NOT our babies and to hurry inside and up the stairs. We filed upstairs along side of these nannies and babies, all the while the nannies were trying to get the babies to coo at us or smile. It was torture! Once upstairs, we were led right past the waiting area to a large (and hot) conference room. Just minutes later, they began calling out names and lining us up on one side of the room in the order we would be receiving our babies. We were 5th. We no sooner got in line and in came the babies, one at a time. They checked credentials, then handed the babies over to their new parents (and were given a moment for a picture or two). We realized at that very moment that we had not decided who would hold her first! The only thing I could mutter out to Rob was, "Please let me...". Then, before we realized it, we were NEXT! That's when we looked up at the door and there she was! We DID recognize her! She was right there, in the flesh! We stepped up and handed them our credentials while continuing to stare at the doorway. The nanny then stepped up and handed her to me. Though there are no words that can really describe the feeling we felt at that very moment. It was surreal. It felt like all of the commotion in the room just disappeared and time stopped. We stood there, holding our beautiful new daughter, Mary. And she WAS beautiful! She was perfect. Then, time started up again and we were hurried off to the other side of the room so the next baby could be matched with their new family.

Mary didn't cry. She was very curious and just stared at us. She put her hand on our faces, perhaps trying to break through HER reality check too. She went to Rob and found his name tag and put the death grip on it. Then, as quickly as we were brought in, we were hurried back out to the bus headed for the hotel. Mary kept a grip on Rob's name tag and moments after we pulled out of the parking lot, layed her head down and fell asleep (still grasping the name tag!). The look on Rob's face at that moment was of pure happiness and I could see his eyes tearing up. Back at the hotel, we layed her on the bed and sat there watching her sleep. She was amazing. I called home to tell everyone that we had Mary, but couldn't stop gazing at her. We did it. We had a China daughter and she was beautiful and perfect.

When she awoke, Rob was gone (at the store buying baby formula and cereal). She had a little bit of a meltdown being in a strange place with a strange person, but it only lasted a few minutes. I changed her into a pretty pink outfit (and put her gotcha clothes away for safe keeping) and broke out the toys. We sat there on the floor playing. It was wonderful.

It's hard to believe three whole years have passed. It feels like last week. I can close my eyes and replay it in my mind over and over. Mary has grown SO much since then and her personality really developed. She is a strong-willed, but loving. She loves macaroni and cheese and hates anything with meat. She is fun, but stubborn. She is independent, but still loves to cuddle. She is still one amazing little girl.

Here is Mary, three years ago...


...and here is Mary now

Three Years Ago Today...

...May 15, 2005
We arrived in Changsha. The capital city of the Hunan province of China. As we rode on the bus through the darkness and fog on our way to the hotel, we could not help but feel as though we had taken a trip back in time. The streets were filled with old clay and brick buildings with bicycles parked in front of them and woven baskets on the steps. The bus ride was quiet and full of anticipation. We were in our daughter's province and would be meeting her in the morning. It was hard to focus on anything our guide was saying between the anxiety and the sights outside.

We arrived at the hotel, gathered our luggage and made our way up to our room. When we opened the door to our room, we saw a sight that took our breath away. There was a crib in the room with a little blanket in it. Suddenly, the reality set in and a wave of nervousness came over both of us. In a matter of hours, we would be seeing the precious little girl whose picture we had been staring at for months. We thought sleep would be good, but we both layed there, wide-eyed and staring into the darkness. We wondered where she was. Had she already arrived in Changsha? We wondered if we would recognize her from across the room after the hours and hours we spent studying her face from the pictures. We wondered if she would like us or if she would cry. These thoughts spun in our heads over and over.

The diaper bag was packed to take to the Civil Affairs office and was sitting by the door. The formula was measured out in the bottle we were taking so all we had to do was add hot water. The only thing we had left to do...was wait.

Tomorrow, I was finally going to meet my daughter. The daughter I had been dreaming about since I was a little girl myself. It was finally time for my dream to come true.

The doctors have spoken

Well, we traveled to Chicago last week to see the doctors at the Shriners Hospital. Ella did very well traveling. She slept on the flight out and on the way back (yeah!) and she was a trooper through both the airports. Taxi rides weren't too fun, but all in all she did really well. The hotel was neat. It was very old and smelled kind of musty, but neat with it's old fasioned decor. Ella let all the doctors poke and prod her and had smiles and kisses for most of them. The audiologist was a bit amazed that a three year old cooperated so wonderfully in the sound booth. He said most four and five year olds would not have done that. Ella's ears got a clean bill of health! The speech pathologist had some concerns, but liked the things we were working on and the fact that we had already started the process with speech therapy back home. The ENT doc performed a test on Ella that they had never performed on a three year old before. He put a small, long camera scope into Ella's nose and took some video of the back of her throat as we tried to get her to say "yellow yo-yo" three times. (We only got her to say it once.) It told us a lot about what needed to be done (surgically) to help her speech. She did cry some through the procedure, but was such a big girl. Afterwards, the speech pathologist took her to find the private stash of goodies and Ella got to pick a special prize out of a big wagon. Of all the things she could have in that wagon, she found the ONLY doll in there. LOL. It was YELLOW of all things. Ironic.

The verdict after seeing all of those wonderful doctors is that she needs another palate surgery, which we knew. They have decided that the P-Flap Surgery will give her the best chances of clear speech. We have to do some research to see what all that surgery does for her. There are additional surgeries in her future, but this will get her what she needs for now.

Unfortunately, we couldn't even consider the surgery until her immediate dental issue was resolved as it was providing the greatest urgency. We could either go on the waiting list with the Shriners Peds Dentist and wait until July or August or we could try to find a pediatric dentist at home to pull her broken tooth. Luckily the Shriners dentist gave us something that said exactly what needed to be done. When we got home on Thursday, we called Childrens Hospital in Denver and they happen to have a walk-in clinic the following day (instead of waiting for a July appointment). After the peds dentist at Childrens Hospital saw Ella's tooth, he opted to pull it right then and there! I feel so bad for Ella, but at least that nasty tooth is out of there! She hasn't been eating or drinking as much as she usually does and has been very whiney (we can tell when the ibuprofen wears off), but every day is getting better. Now we can focus on her upcoming palate surgery which will probably be in June or July. I'm very nervous about her upcoming surgery. I know it was going to happen, I'm just scared I guess. Not scared for the surgery itself, but scared for her recovery. She is recovering very well from her tooth extraction, but the palate is going to be a tough one. I know she will be strong through it. I hope I will be just as strong.

All in all, Chicago was a pretty good trip. The beds were soft. The food was AWESOME (LOOOOOVE that Chicago style pizza!). Everyone at the Shriners Hospital was amazing. (Ella charmed the pants off of most of them with kisses and hugs!) They were so caring and observant and THOROUGH! It was wonderful. We know now that she will have the best care possible by the best doctors in the industry. It feels better having a game plan.

April 7, 2008 - Dog Food!!!

Boy, the girls sure have this fascination with the dog's food. They are always sticking their fingers in it, sticking it in their mouths (eeww) and filling up little cups full of it to carry it around the house for unknown reasons. Tonight, they went full out. Their love of dog food just erupted...literally...all over my kitchen floor. I should have known something was up. They were playing quietly (strike 1) in the kitchen (strike 2) and were not fighting with each other (strike 3)!!!

The mission, to see how much dog food can be stuffed into the water dispenser. The first problem, the water was full. Okay, so they dug in the cabinet and found a small measuring cup. Got it! Now, where to put the extra water. Hhmmm. How about on the floor? Sure, there's plenty of room! Okay, now to start filling the water with dog food. Oh look! The dog food gets really BIG when you put it in the water! How cool! Let's see if we can fit more! Yup! How about more? Yup! Uh oh, some of the water is spilling over onto the floor! But wait...there was already water on the floor anyways, so its okay! Keep stuffing! Okay, now its full. Now what to do? Oh! Take some of the soggy dog food out, put it back in the food dispenser and grab some nice dry dog food from the top. Yup! That works! Now we have TWO dispensers full of soggy, swollen dog food! Mission accomplished!!! Hhmmm. Wonder why the dogs look upset?

So is our life with two three year old girls. You would think we would learn by now that if they are quiet or NOT fighting that something is wrong...but do we? No! Somehow they have diabled the parental radar. Darn it! Foiled again. (By the way, they both got sent to bed for that mission!)

Here are some pictures of the girls at the park.




Boo!

March 30, 2008

Well, we survived Easter. Actually it was quite an experience. Ella's awe with coloring eggs and hunting for eggs was just priceless. She was so curious and very excited.

We colored eggs the night before and it was interesting. Ella got the hang of it pretty quick. Her Uncle Jon spent most of the time helping her out with the whole process and I think he had as much fun as she did!

The next morning, both girls were squealing with the excitement of finding all of the eggs. There WERE a few minor cat fights over who saw the egg first, but they were quickly diverted by finding other eggs. Thank goodness for a three year old attention span! After breakfast, we began the BIG egg hunt which is done outside (at the grandparents house). The girls got to search for eggs on the deck and in Grandma's garden and the older kids got the rest of the area surrounding the house. The girls had special eggs and little prize slips were for prizes specially for them. Thank goodness! I just don't know how my boys (or their cousins) would have felt about getting a pretty tiara or princess lip gloss! Ha ha ha. Canaan and Jake had fun too, but you can really tell they are getting too old for this. That's such a shame. They are outgrowing the Easter Bunny and that makes me kind of sad. I guess I should be lucky I still have the girls to draw out the old imaginative parts of childhood. At least I have a few more years that I can play Easter Bunny, Santa & The Tooth Fairy. Jake actually had fun helping me hide the colored eggs after the girls went to bed. He was a little bummed that he didn't get to help me with the baskets (I did THOSE while he hid the eggs). It's funny to see him take on this different role with his sisters as apposed to being the one WAITING for the Easter bunny.

Grandma got the girls new Easter dresses so they were very excited to get all dressed up. I tried to get some pictures of them, but ended up deleting more than I kept. They were NOT into photos with all the other commotion going on around them.

Ella has developed another abcess in her lip and is back on antibiotics. Boy, that appointment at the Shriners Hospital cannot come soon enough. I'm very nervous about her impending surgery but I really would like to get it over with. Ella had an initial speech evaluation with the school district and it was decided that she needed to see the speech pathologist for more tests. We knew that she needed help so none of this was a surprise. I'm glad to see that she is going to get the help she needs. Preschool will be good for her for her speech, language development and her social skills.

We bought the girls a swing set for the back yard and after two days of assembling (and several swear words), we all have indearingly named it "The Demon". Man that thing was a bear to put up. The girls watched on the porch as we put it up and I think they asked "Is it done yet" at least a thousand times! Uhg. Once it was done, they got to play on it for about 15 minutes before it started to snow. They were so bummed, but it was so cold at that point that they just simply couldn't stay outside. Since then, they have been able to play on it more and just love it. Both girls squeal with excitement. The swings are the favorite for both of them!

Graduation is rapidly approaching for my eldest son as is his "ship-off" date to boot camp. I'm trying not to think about it too much, but as it grows nearer, its getting harder to ignore it. I'm excited that Adam is moving on with his life, but I am also so terrified that my little boy is leaving. So many mixed feelings. My head is swimming with emotions.

Here are some pictures from recently.

The new swing set is a HIT!

Playing Ballerina


Pretty new Easter Dresses

Easter 2008

March 14, 2008 - My daughter is SO weird!

First off, let me say that as of yesterday, Ella has been home three whole months! How can it have been three months already?? Where has the time gone? It's amazing how much personality has come out of Ella in three months. She is truly an amazing little girl, so full of life. She is also SO WEIRD! I mean that in a good way, but boy she does some strange things. Her imagination is roaring at full force and she is still so inquisitive about EVERYTHING.
Ella loves to sing. She loves music in general, but she LOVES to sing. I figured out that she really likes Trent Tomlinson (country singer). When we play it in the car, she sits in the back seat bellowing at the top of her lungs..."Ya Ya Yaaaaaaa! Ya Ya Yaaaaaaa!" (and several of variations thereof). You can't help but bust out laughing. Her singing makes absolutely NO sense, but she never hesitates to belt it out! She still stops singing long enough when we pass the cows to say 'mornin nows' or 'nite nite nows' and she always knows what time of day it is and what she should say (morning versus night). I keep forgetting, despite her tiny size that she IS three and very aware of her surroundings. Whoa...and she is wicked smart too. Just the other morning, she got up, went in to go potty and didn't "make it" in time (it happens). She then spent about 15 minutes hiding out in the bathroom. We all wondered what on earth she could be doing in there and Canaan finally had to go look. Well, I guess she was embarrassed about her little accident and was holding her panties over the heater vent trying to dry them. Adam made a comment "I don't remember thinking of THAT when I was her age!". She's smart, we will give her that. The boys don't dare hand her their cell phones or mp3 players anymore or else she reprograms their phones, dials numbers, takes pictures (with the phones) or changes all the settings on the music players. I think we are in trouble. We either have a future engineer or a future hacker. EEK!
Mary's black eye is finally better. Boy I got tired of explaining that one to everyone. She looked just awful.

Here are the Ella, Mary & Canaan at the zoo.




Here is Mary's new "outfit". It is SOOOOOO Mary, don't you think?


...and Ella shows off her new sweater. She just couldn't stand Mary getting the spotlight!



Just being sisters (a good day of being "sisters")...




Okay, these require explanation, but I couldn't help but post them. We decided to frost Jake's hair. Once it was rinsed and combed out, it really does look GOOD. These pictures look just plain funny.

February 28th ~ Comfortable Chaos

That's the only phrase I can use to describe our household. Comfortable Chaos. Things are always busy and noisy. The boys are ususally wrestling in my livingroom or kitchen (risking and/or breaking things as they tumble) and the girls are usually either screaming at each other or playing very loud (to be heard over their brothers, I'm sure). Sigh. I'm not sure what I would do with a quiet household. I would probably go insane with the silence. :-)
Ella continues to blossom and has really turned into this amazing little girl. I'm sure she was amazing before, but I think she has finally brushed off the last of her "shell" and her full identity is beaming. She is so different from Mary, not in a bad way on either side. She is just different. She's so inquisitive and completely fascinated with the entire world around her, yet she's also so laid back and relaxed about almost everything. She and Mary are starting to get along a little better. They still have their days, which I imagine they WILL for the rest of their lives.
We heard from the Shriners in Chicago and it looks like April 30th is the earliest that she is going to be seen. Sigh. Now what? He teeth are not going to make it that long. It already hurts her to bite anything and THAT is a problem for a girl who loves food. The appointment on the 30th is just an intake appointment to basically see what she needs to have done. I don't know where it goes from there. I feel so bad that I can't help her right now. Not with her speech or her tooth or anything. It's so frustrating.
Mary had her first Bunk Bed Boo Boo as she fell over the side rail and landed face first on the floor. Uhg. She ended up with quite a black eye. It looks so bad. Hopefully she will be a little more careful up on her bed, but I doubt this is the last time this will happen.

February 14, 2008 - In Perspective

Things around the house have been their normal state of chaos. I'm not sure what I would do without a nutty household. I would probably go crazy in the silence, but then again I'm not exactly sure what silence really is.
The boys are up to their typical selves-wrestling each other in my LIVINGROOM, flushing the toilet when one of them is in the shower and food fights galore (great! more catsup on the ceiling)!!! It is certainly a different situation with the girls. Their brawls consist of running up to the other, stealing the toy and running around in circles through the livingroom and kitchen while the other SCREAMS and chases. I suppose if you really thing about it, they are all alike. :-)
The girls have been sick over the last week. LOVELY! Mary brought a nice bug home from her friends at daycare and has passed it around to everyone, especially Ella. Poor Ella has just been laying around the house for three days feeling completely yucky. She doesn't want to play. She doesn't want to eat. I feel so bad. I wish there was something (besides cold medicine) that I could do to make her feel better. Then again, perhaps I should be enjoying this quiet time (in between whining) because she has NO voice to scream at her sister (Mary doesn't have much more of a voice then Ella)! Sigh. The joys of parenthood.
I've been working on Ella's adoption video lately and listening to a bunch of songs trying to figure out which ones to use. There are many songs (especially country songs) that I really had never listened to the words before. Several of them have made me think. They talk about enjoying what you have and enjoying the "here and now" and especially enjoying your family. These words seem to have stuck in my head and are replaying over and over in my thoughts. I really cannot believe my children are growing up as fast as they are. I'm almost mad at myself for not appriciating them more. My time is running short with my boys. Adam leaves for boot camp five months from today. FIVE MONTHS! That may seem like a long time for a senior waiting to gruaduate and move on with his life, but that seems like only a few heatbeats for a mother about to lose her first born child. It's stirred up all kinds of feelings inside me. Jake is learning to drive and Canaan is not far behind him with his permit. Before I know it, they are going to be gone too. The girls are growing fast too. It's amazing how much they have grown and blossomed.
So, I started looking through pictures (probably should not have done that). My goodness, where did my little ones go?
Here is Adam then (Jan 1990)...

And here is Adam now...

Here is Jake then (Dec 1992)...

And here is Jake now...

Here is Canaan then (Nov 1993)...

And here is Canaan now...

Here is Mary then (June 2005)...

And here is Mary now...

Here is Ella then (approx. March 2005)...

And here is Ella now...


I just can't believe they are growing up so fast. I wish I had a magic remote control that would allow me to slow down the important parts (learning how to walk or ride a bike) and fast forward through the no-so-fun parts (fights and words that I wish I didn't say). If anyone finds one of those kind of remotes, please let me know. In the mean time, I'm going to start noticing more of what my kids do and TRY not to notice some of the little bad things (I said TRY because I DO have three teenagers after all, so there are no promises).